A they/them lesbian refers to a lesbian who uses they/them pronouns. They/them lesbians may be a woman, woman-aligned, or non-binary. The term can be used by any woman or non-binary person who is wlw (sapphic) and uses they/them pronouns. Those pronouns can be exclusive or one can be multipronoun. It is a more specific form of pronoun non-conformity and crosspronoun usage. It is a common lesbian experience to feel disconnected from womanhood due to womanhood often being defined by relationships to men. Similarly to how lesbians might go by masculine/androgynous names, present as a butch, or otherwise gender non-conforming, a lesbian may refer to themselves by they/them to express this disconnect from their gender.
They/Them Lesbians vs Nonbinary People[edit | edit source]
Some they/them lesbians are non-binary, but a they/them lesbian does not necessarily have to identify as non-binary. They may acknowledge they are female, but pronouns do not always equal gender identity, as a they/them lesbian is also more specific form of pronoun non-conforming lesbians.
It is a common misunderstanding that they/them and he/him lesbians "make the transgender community and nonbinary community look bad", but that is simply the fault of the people who refuse to think about the subject or break down the concept to understand it. Oftentimes, pronouns are gendered but in some cases they're not despite what society says. The pronouns one uses are another part of gender expression, just like one's clothes or behavior. In the same way some non-binary people are more comfortable using pronouns other than they/them, some binary people feel more comfortable using pronouns other than the one's typically associated with their gender.
Flag[edit | edit source]
The they/them lesbian flag was designed by Tumblr user Wuvsbian on June 12th, 2018 as a followup to the he/him lesbian flag. The rainbow was used to encompass all the different ways they/them lesbians interact and express themselves and their lesbian and gender identity.