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Changes: User blog:Birdkiller/Coming Out Tips

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{{Infobox
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Coming out is a very individual choice and process. You do not have to come out if you don't want to and you do not have to come out if you're not ready. Coming out can also be very different based on identity. For example, coming out as gay comes with different challenges than coming out as transgender. Some people may be more receptive to some identities rather than others, potentially out of ignorance. Since many people on this wiki are children, this will be targeted towards younger ages. If there's any questions you have or anything you'd like me to add, don't hesitate to leave a comment.
  
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| image = Pansexual Flag.svg
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| caption =
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| altname = <!-- In case the article's topic is known under multiple names, differentiate with a comma. -->
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| term = Sexuality
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| spectrum =
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| gender = Any
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| attracted = All
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| attractedtype = Sexual
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| romance = [[Panromantic]]
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| different = *[[Bisexual]]
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*[[Omnisexual]]
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*[[Polysexual]]
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}}
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'''Pansexuality''' is the sexual attraction toward people regardless of their [[sex]] or [[gender identity]].<ref name="HRC: Glossary of Terms">{{Cite web|url=https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms|title=Glossary of Terms|author=[[Human Rights Campaign]]}}</ref> Since [[gender]] or sex are not determining factors in who a pansexual person is attracted to, some pansexuals might call themselves ''gender-blind'', therefore rejecting the [[gender binary]].<ref name="What it Means to be Pansexual or Panromantic">{{Cite web|url=https://lgbt.foundation/news/what-it-means-to-be-pansexual-or-panromantic/300|title=What it Means to be Pansexual or Panromantic|author=Admin Silverchip|date=2019-05-21}}</ref>
   
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=== Safety ===
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==Etymology==
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The term "pansexual" is derived from the Greek prefix ''pan-'', meaning "all" or "every".<ref name="Merriam-Webster: Definition of Pan-">{{Cite web |url=https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pan-|title=Definition of Pan-| publisher=Merriam-Webster}}</ref>
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First, you should ''never'' come out if it is unsafe, such as if you'll be kicked out, cut off financially, abused, etc. If you have reason to believe your safety will be in jeopardy, you should wait to come out until you are out of an unsafe situation. If you don't know how people will react, try asking them about Pride Month, an LGBTQ+ friend or family member, news related to being LGBTQ+, point out a pride flag you see, etc. If their reaction is positive, that's a good sign. If you're coming out to somebody who already has an LGBTQ+ friend or family member, that could be a good indicator of their reaction, especially by talking to the LGBTQ+ person, and especially if you share the same identity.
  
   
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=== Readiness ===
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==Community==
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Pansexual & Panromantic Awareness Day is internationally celebrated on May 24.<ref>{{Cite web|url=https://lgbt.foundation/news/5-things-you-should-know-on-pansexual-visibility-day/161|title=5 things you should know on Pansexual Visibility Day|publisher=LGBT Foundation}}</ref>
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After you've judged it's safe, you should consider whether you truly want to come out. You never have to come out if you don't want to, and you do not have to come out before you're ready. Coming out can be very anxiety-provoking. You might choose to manage some of this anxiety first before coming out or wait until you're surer of your identity. There are many reasons why you might not be ready. If you are truly not ready, it is okay to wait. If you are ready, you might be more ready to come out to some people than others. Some people also simply do not want to come out or don't feel the need. For example, someone who's gay may wait to come out until they have a romantic partner they need to introduce to their parents, or maybe someone who was AMAB, is non-binary, and uses he/him pronouns and the same name feels no need to come out to their employer, as their pronouns and name aren't changing. You never have to come out if you don't want to and you don't have to come out before you're ready.
  
   
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=== Order ===
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===History===
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''Document the community's most important history, including facts such as key events, breakthroughs in improving the community's wellbeing and rights, or historical figures known to belong to the community.''
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Some people find coming out to friends easier than family, especially children who are still living with their parents or guardians. Others may find family easier, or specifically just their siblings. Some may come out to a trusted adult first. Some people find it helpful to come out to people they know will be supportive first, as they can lean on them later if another coming out goes poorly. Others may find it easiest to come out to everybody at the same time for various reasons. One of those may be that they don't want friends using different pronouns, name, or talking about their partner around their parents or guardians, which may potentially out them.
 
   
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=== Method ===
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===Flag===
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[[File:Pansexual Flag.svg|thumb|right|200px|The pansexual flag, designed by Jasper V in 2010.]]
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Some people choose to come in person. Others come out over a phone call, zoom, text, social media, or even write a letter. Some people even send coming out songs or even memes. Some people you come out to may prefer to be told in person over text, or sometimes vice versa. Occasionally, your method of coming out can influence a person's response. For example, someone may find it rude that you came out over text rather than in-person, since they prefer in-person conversations. Some people find coming out over text, letter, or phone call easier, while others prefer to come out in person as it can be seen as more personal. You can choose whatever method you like based on your personal comfort or based on other factors like how close you are to somebody or when you might see them in person next.
  
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The most commonly used pansexual pride flag was designed by Jasper V in 2010.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20110824012318/http://pansexualflag.tumblr.com/post/1265215452/hex-color-codes-you-dont-have-to-use-these-exact</ref><ref>https://twitter.com/shrikeabyssals/status/1161261235863793664?s=20&t=jpxKczjc8JtBEN995SuHmA</ref> It consists of three horizontal stripes: a magenta stripe at the top, a strong gold yellow stripe in the center, and a light cerulean stripe at the bottom.<ref>https://twitter.com/shrikeabyssals/status/1161260934045810688?s=20&t=jpxKczjc8JtBEN995SuHmA</ref>
   
  +
Jasper V stated on their Twitter that the pride flag's meanings were intended as follows: "Pink and blue, because of their gendered traditions, and yellow, a generally non-gendered colour, to represent nonbinary folks etc."<ref>https://twitter.com/shrikeabyssals/status/1161261077331681281?s=20&t=jpxKczjc8JtBEN995SuHmA</ref> The meaning of the colors, however, is debated. Some say that the pink stands for attraction to women, yellow for attraction to [[non-binary]] or [[gender non-conforming]] individuals, and blue for attraction to men.<ref name="Gay Times">{{Cite web|url=https://www.gaytimes.co.uk/culture/pride-flags/|title=What do all the different Pride flags stand for?|publisher=Gay Times}}</ref><ref name="Clare Bayley">{{Cite web|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20140724230618/http://clarebayley.com/2013/06/a-field-guide-to-pride-flags/|title=A field guide to Pride flags|publisher=Clare Bayley}}</ref><ref name="USA TODAY">{{Cite web|url=https://eu.usatoday.com/in-depth/graphics/2021/06/01/lgbtq-pride-flags-meaning-gay-lesbian-transgender-nonbinary-intersex-pride-flags-represent/5133381001/|title=LGBTQ Pride flags go beyond the classic rainbow. Here's what each one means|publisher=USA TODAY}}</ref> Others say that the blue, pink, and yellow stand for those who ''identify'' as men, women, and non-binary people, respectively.<ref name="Mashable">{{Cite web|url=https://mashable.com/archive/lgbt-pride-symbols|title=A Storied Glossary of Iconic LGBT Flags and Symbols|publisher=Mashable}}</ref><ref name="KTVU">{{Cite web|url=https://www.ktvu.com/news/want-to-know-more-about-the-rainbow-colors-heres-a-guide-to-pride-flag-symbolism|title=Want to know more about the rainbow colors? Here's a guide to Pride flag symbolism|publisher=KTVU FOX 2}}</ref><ref name="GLAAD: Mashable">{{Cite web|url=https://www.glaad.org/blog/mashable-publishes-date-compilation-lgbt-flags-and-symbols|title=Mashable publishes an up-to-date compilation of LGBT flags and symbols|publisher=GLAAD}}</ref>[[File:Alternative Pansexual Flag.svg|thumb|left|200px|An alternative pansexual flag, designed by Jesse (@gunslinger) in 2020.]]After some conflict generated by opinions of the original flag creator, several new flags have been proposed and are in use by sections of the community. One example of an alternative flag was designed by Jesse (@gunslinger) on Twitter in 2020. Green represents sense of belonging, yellow represents attraction regardless of gender identity, and orange represents gender empowerment.<ref>https://twitter.com/gunslinqer/status/1276573542017118209</ref> They stated that they chose to design a new flag as a way to separate himself (and others in the pansexual community) from Jasper V's beliefs; he particularly disagreed with their support of [[Bisexual|bi]]-[[Lesbian|lesbians]].<ref>https://twitter.com/gunslinqer/status/1276191068334239746?s=20&t=PQNjCg-HX5UidOh2IgRHzA</ref>
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=== Timing ===
  
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===Distinction===
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Coming out at the right time and place can be important. Coming out to someone who's angry at you or in a bad mood can lead to a worse response. Some people may feel more comfortable in a public place in case anything bad happens, while others might prefer privacy. Coming out to somebody before you have to spend a lot of time with them may not be a good idea if coming out does not go well. For example, you might choose to wait until after a family vacation or holiday to come out to your parents.
  
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====Omnisexuality====
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{{Main|Omnisexual}}
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Though very similar in the sense that both sexualities are attracted to all genders, the main difference is that pansexual people are often referred to as gender-blind, meaning they are attracted to people regardless of gender, whereas omnisexual people ''do'' recognize the gender of those they are interested in, therefore letting it play a part in their attraction.<ref name="WebMD:Omnisexual">{{Cite web|url=https://www.webmd.com/sex/what-is-omnisexual|title=What Is Omnisexual?|publisher=WebMD}}</ref>
   
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=== Self-care ===
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====Bisexuality====
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{{Main|Bisexual}}
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Responses to coming out can be rough. After you do so, it's important to take care of yourself, even if your coming out went well. It can be a very stressful process. Plan to do something nice for yourself after coming out, such as exercising, getting your nails done, or hanging out with a trusted friend.
  
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Bisexuality, due to the prefix ''bi-'', is the sexual attraction to two or more genders. Pansexuality, however, composed with the prefix ''pan-'', is the sexual attraction to all people, regardless of gender. Pansexual and bisexual identities have nuanced differences, and someone who is attracted to all genders may still identify as bisexual, as labels all come down to personal preference.<ref name="biresource">{{Cite_web|url=https://biresource.org/bi-info/what-is-bisexuality|title=What is Bisexuality?|author=Bisexual Resource Center}}</ref>
   
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====Polysexuality====
−
=== Resources (more to be added) ===
  
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{{Main|Polysexual}}
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Though attracted to several genders, polysexual people do not necessarily experience attraction to ''all'' genders. Pansexual people, however, do. Another notable difference between the two identities is that gender and/or sex often does play a significant role when it comes to a polysexual person's attraction.<ref name="Bi.org">{{Cite web|url=https://bi.org/en/questions/what-is-the-difference-between-bisexual-and-terms-like-pansexual-polysexual-omnisexual-ambisexual-and-fluid|title=What is the difference between bisexual and terms like pansexual, polysexual, omnisexual, ambisexual, and fluid?}}</ref>
   
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===Perceptions and Discrimination===
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* [https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/guide/the-coming-out-handbook/ The Coming Out Handbook – The Trevor Project]
  
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People may wrongly accuse pansexual people that they "just can't make up their mind about their sexuality." This is harmful, as it invalidates a pansexual person's feelings and experiences.<ref name="Health">{{Cite web|url=https://www.health.com/mind-body/health-diversity-inclusion/polysexual|title=What Does It Mean to Be Polysexual? here is How Experts Explain This Sexual Identity}}</ref>
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*[https://www.hrc.org/resources/coming-out?utm_medium=ads&utm_source=GoogleSearch&utm_content=ComingOut-Resources&utm_campaign=GoogleGrant&gclid=Cj0KCQiAjbagBhD3ARIsANRrqEu4_qZruX3bN7TFdewfTgQ-yD6aesoetthmDOlDsZ9Wq8bC_mK55-caAnK4EALw_wcB Coming Out - Human Rights Campaign (hrc.org)] (tons of specific resources here, such as ones covering religion, trans-specific, etc.)
  
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*[https://www.glsen.org/activity/coming-out-resource-lgbtq-students?gclid=Cj0KCQiAjbagBhD3ARIsANRrqEvFgBCAb57Gjq1izZtm6tZcRzBQMdiTI5gIzBevsYAk-uYkmR4WbtwaAlODEALw_wcB Coming Out: A Resource for LGBTQ Students | GLSEN]
  
   
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There are also the assumptions people make about a person's sexuality based on the relationship they are currently in. If a pansexual man is dating a woman, people might assume he is [[Heterosexual|straight]]. This is, however, not the case. These are also common assumptions when it comes to bisexuality and/or polysexuality.<ref name="Health" />
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[[Category:Blog posts]]
  
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==Media==
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===Television===
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*David Rose from ''Schitt's Creek''{{source}}
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*Harper Bettencourt from ''iCarly (2021)''{{source}}
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*[[w:c:vampirediaries:Josie Saltzman|Josie Saltzman]] from ''Legacies''{{source}}
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*[[w:c:nancydrew:Isaac Vega|Isaac Vega]] from ''Tom Swift''{{source}}
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*[https://sexeducation.fandom.com/wiki/Ola_Nyman Ola Nyman] from ''[https://sexeducation.fandom.com/wiki/Sex_Education_Wiki Sex Education]''{{source}}
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*Possibly [[w:c:thewalkingdead:Victor Strand (Fear)|Victor Strand]] in [[w:c:thewalkingdead:Fear the Walking Dead|''Fear the Walking Dead'']] <small>(Only implied in out-of-universe interviews. In-universe confirmation is currently that he is [[bisexual]])</small>
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* [[w:c:hazbinhotel:Blitzo|Blitzo]] in [[w:c:hazbinhotel:Helluva Boss|''Helluva Boss'']].
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*Husk in Hazbin Hotel
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=== Comic Books ===
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* [[w:c:marvel:Wilson (Earth-616)|Deadpool]] from [[w:c:marvel:Marvel Comics|Marvel Comics]]{{source}}
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* [[w:c:marvel:Illyana Rasputina (Earth-616)|Illyana Rasputina (Magik)] from [[w:c:marvel:Marvel Comics|Marvel Comics]]{{source}}
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  ⚫
===Music===
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*Angel Haze{{source}}
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*Brendon Urie{{source}}
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*Héloïse Adélaïde Letissier (Christine and the Queens){{source}}
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*Janelle Monáe<ref> <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2022/04/22/janelle-comes-out-nonbinary-pansexual/7408247001/" rel="mw:ExtLink">https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2022/04/22/janelle-comes-out-nonbinary-pansexual/7408247001/</a></ref>
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* Miley Cyrus<ref>https://www.elle.com/uk/life-and-culture/news/a27013/miley-cyrus-elle-uk-october-2015/</ref>
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*YUNGBLUD{{source}}
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*Ashnikko{{source}}
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*Dove Cameron<ref>{{Cite web|url=https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/music/story/202-06-24/dove-cameron-boyfriend-breakfast-disney-queer|title=How Disney star Dove Camern Became the 'Bad Girl Next Door' and her queer anthem|author=Mikael Wood|date=6-24-2022}}</ref>
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*Mia Rodriguez{{source}}
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===Video Games===
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* [[w:c:animalcrossing:Isabelle|Isabelle]] in [[w:c:animalcrossing:Animal Crossing: New Leaf|''Animal Crossing: New Leaf'']]<ref>In Animal Crossing: New Leaf, Isabelle has a crush on the player, regardless of gender.</ref>
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* [[w:c:nightinthewoods:Mae Borowski|Mae Borowski]] in [[w:c:nightinthewoods:Night in the Woods|''Night In The Woods'']]
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* [[w:c:apexlegends:Fuse|Fuse]] in [[w:c:apexlegends:Apex Legends|''Apex Legends'']]{{source}}
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* [[w:c:apexlegends:Seer|Seer]] in [[w:c:apexlegends:Apex Legends|''Apex Legends'']]
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* [[w:c:doll-eye:Dr. Mystery|Dr. Mystery]] in [[w:c:doll-eye:Doll Eye|''Doll Eye'']]
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  +
===Public figures===
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*Alicia Sixtos{{source}}
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*Asia Kate Dillon{{source}}
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*Cara Delevingne{{source}}
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*[[w:c:rupaulsdragrace:Courtney Act|Courtney Act]]{{source}}
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*Erika Ishii{{source}}
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*Jazz Jennings{{source}}
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*Madison Bailey{{source}}
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*Tess Holliday{{source}}
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*Apollo/Kyle/Kel [[https://twitter.com/Ph1lzaTweets source?]]
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*Lily [[https://twitter.com/grlbossmanifold source?]]
  +
  +
==References==
  +
{{Scroll|{{Reflist}}}}
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[[es:Pansexualidad]]
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[[de:Pansexuell]]
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[[ja:パンセクシュアル]]
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[[tr:Panseksüel]]
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[[pt-br:Pansexualidade]]

Revision as of 04:18, 14 March 2023

Pansexuality is the sexual attraction toward people regardless of their sex or gender identity.[1] Since gender or sex are not determining factors in who a pansexual person is attracted to, some pansexuals might call themselves gender-blind, therefore rejecting the gender binary.[2]

Etymology

The term "pansexual" is derived from the Greek prefix pan-, meaning "all" or "every".[3]

Community

Pansexual & Panromantic Awareness Day is internationally celebrated on May 24.[4]

History

Document the community's most important history, including facts such as key events, breakthroughs in improving the community's wellbeing and rights, or historical figures known to belong to the community.

Flag

Pansexual Flag

The pansexual flag, designed by Jasper V in 2010.

The most commonly used pansexual pride flag was designed by Jasper V in 2010.[5][6] It consists of three horizontal stripes: a magenta stripe at the top, a strong gold yellow stripe in the center, and a light cerulean stripe at the bottom.[7]

Jasper V stated on their Twitter that the pride flag's meanings were intended as follows: "Pink and blue, because of their gendered traditions, and yellow, a generally non-gendered colour, to represent nonbinary folks etc."[8] The meaning of the colors, however, is debated. Some say that the pink stands for attraction to women, yellow for attraction to non-binary or gender non-conforming individuals, and blue for attraction to men.[9][10][11] Others say that the blue, pink, and yellow stand for those who identify as men, women, and non-binary people, respectively.[12][13][14]

Alternative Pansexual Flag

An alternative pansexual flag, designed by Jesse (@gunslinger) in 2020.

After some conflict generated by opinions of the original flag creator, several new flags have been proposed and are in use by sections of the community. One example of an alternative flag was designed by Jesse (@gunslinger) on Twitter in 2020. Green represents sense of belonging, yellow represents attraction regardless of gender identity, and orange represents gender empowerment.[15] They stated that they chose to design a new flag as a way to separate himself (and others in the pansexual community) from Jasper V's beliefs; he particularly disagreed with their support of bi-lesbians.[16]

Distinction

Omnisexuality

Main article: Omnisexual

Though very similar in the sense that both sexualities are attracted to all genders, the main difference is that pansexual people are often referred to as gender-blind, meaning they are attracted to people regardless of gender, whereas omnisexual people do recognize the gender of those they are interested in, therefore letting it play a part in their attraction.[17]

Bisexuality

Main article: Bisexual

Bisexuality, due to the prefix bi-, is the sexual attraction to two or more genders. Pansexuality, however, composed with the prefix pan-, is the sexual attraction to all people, regardless of gender. Pansexual and bisexual identities have nuanced differences, and someone who is attracted to all genders may still identify as bisexual, as labels all come down to personal preference.[18]

Polysexuality

Main article: Polysexual

Though attracted to several genders, polysexual people do not necessarily experience attraction to all genders. Pansexual people, however, do. Another notable difference between the two identities is that gender and/or sex often does play a significant role when it comes to a polysexual person's attraction.[19]

Perceptions and Discrimination

People may wrongly accuse pansexual people that they "just can't make up their mind about their sexuality." This is harmful, as it invalidates a pansexual person's feelings and experiences.[20]

There are also the assumptions people make about a person's sexuality based on the relationship they are currently in. If a pansexual man is dating a woman, people might assume he is straight. This is, however, not the case. These are also common assumptions when it comes to bisexuality and/or polysexuality.[20]

Media

Television

Comic Books

Music

Video Games

Public figures

References

  1. ↑ "Glossary of Terms" by Human Rights Campaign on hrc.org
  2. ↑ "What it Means to be Pansexual or Panromantic" by Admin Silverchip on lgbt.foundation. Published 2019-05-21
  3. ↑ "Definition of Pan-" on merriam-webster.com. Published by Merriam-Webster
  4. ↑ "5 things you should know on Pansexual Visibility Day" on lgbt.foundation. Published by LGBT Foundation
  5. ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20110824012318/http://pansexualflag.tumblr.com/post/1265215452/hex-color-codes-you-dont-have-to-use-these-exact
  6. ↑ https://twitter.com/shrikeabyssals/status/1161261235863793664?s=20&t=jpxKczjc8JtBEN995SuHmA
  7. ↑ https://twitter.com/shrikeabyssals/status/1161260934045810688?s=20&t=jpxKczjc8JtBEN995SuHmA
  8. ↑ https://twitter.com/shrikeabyssals/status/1161261077331681281?s=20&t=jpxKczjc8JtBEN995SuHmA
  9. ↑ "What do all the different Pride flags stand for?" on gaytimes.co.uk. Published by Gay Times
  10. ↑ "A field guide to Pride flags" on web.archive.org. Published by Clare Bayley
  11. ↑ "LGBTQ Pride flags go beyond the classic rainbow. Here's what each one means" on eu.usatoday.com. Published by USA TODAY
  12. ↑ "A Storied Glossary of Iconic LGBT Flags and Symbols" on mashable.com. Published by Mashable
  13. ↑ "Want to know more about the rainbow colors? Here's a guide to Pride flag symbolism" on ktvu.com. Published by KTVU FOX 2
  14. ↑ "Mashable publishes an up-to-date compilation of LGBT flags and symbols" on glaad.org. Published by GLAAD
  15. ↑ https://twitter.com/gunslinqer/status/1276573542017118209
  16. ↑ https://twitter.com/gunslinqer/status/1276191068334239746?s=20&t=PQNjCg-HX5UidOh2IgRHzA
  17. ↑ "What Is Omnisexual?" on webmd.com. Published by WebMD
  18. ↑ "What is Bisexuality?" by Bisexual Resource Center on biresource.org
  19. ↑ "What is the difference between bisexual and terms like pansexual, polysexual, omnisexual, ambisexual, and fluid?" on bi.org
  20. ↑ 20.0 20.1 "What Does It Mean to Be Polysexual? here is How Experts Explain This Sexual Identity" on health.com
  21. ↑ <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2022/04/22/janelle-comes-out-nonbinary-pansexual/7408247001/" rel="mw:ExtLink">https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2022/04/22/janelle-comes-out-nonbinary-pansexual/7408247001/</a>
  22. ↑ https://www.elle.com/uk/life-and-culture/news/a27013/miley-cyrus-elle-uk-october-2015/
  23. ↑ "How Disney star Dove Camern Became the 'Bad Girl Next Door' and her queer anthem" by Mikael Wood on latimes.com. Published 6-24-2022
  24. ↑ In Animal Crossing: New Leaf, Isabelle has a crush on the player, regardless of gender.
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