Hello everyone. I usually present myself to others as demisexual, if necessary. But I'm not sure if this is true, or if it's just my mental characteristics that drive me under demisexual behavior.
I am a cisgender guy, and the presence of sexual attraction can greatly affect my "opportunities in sex". But for quite a long time I did not connect this with the fact that I can be demisexual. I put it down to mental problems and a lack of mood or something.
Now, I'm starting to think that maybe I was right. During my first sexual relationship, my partner had a habit of doing things during sex without my consent. I didn't share some of their kinks that they wanted to try, so sometimes they just did things that I wasn't ready for, that scared me, or caused me physical pain. It's not as bad as it sounds but it still made it difficult to relax and made me feel unsafe during sex.
And now it makes me think that I'm not demisexual, but I just can't relax during sex if I don't fully trust my partner.
I apologize in advance for the unstructured text, I have a temperature of 38 C and am not a native speaker